Three Relationships every Cross Cultural Worker needs

It is vital for you to connect with others.  You were made for community and isolation is  the enemy.  You need friends that you can pour out your heart, weaknesses, sins, dreams, and passions to. You need people to hold you accountable, enable you to adapt to a new culture, and pray with you when you are in need.  There are three relationships that every cross-cultural worker needs.

1. Relationship with your partners 

It is crucial that you have a strong relationship base in your home country. You need a community of people back home who are praying for you, with whom you are in regular contact, and who you know will back you up whenever you need it.  

Do not get discouraged if after a few months that you stop hearing from some of your supporters or even close friends.  I found myself struggling with the fact that they seemed to depend upon me to initiate contact when I felt that I was the one who left everything and everyone that was familiar to me.  But remember, these friends, churches, and communities have a lot going on in their own lives, and relationship is a two way street. It’s up to us to communicate well and to communicate often.  

2. Relationships with co-workers

Community at home is vital, but also ask God for life-giving community with those from your home culture where you live.  It is important to have people you can communicate with in your heart language.  You need accountability partners that you can speak truth to and will  speak truth into you.  God surely meets us in our seasons of loneliness, teaching us reliance but you were created for community.  Take personal responsinbilty to form these relationships.  You want to be praying for and open to any friendships God gives you, making time and room to strengthen such relationships whenever possible.

3. Relationships with nationals

Getting refreshed by westerners/ people from you own culture is awesome, but I am advocating balance. If you want to last a long time in cross-cultural ministry, you must cultivate rich and deep relationships with people from your host country.  There are some things you need that only a national can help you with.  

It is also important that people in your host country know you need them.  Many workers tend to see themselves as benefactors: givers of money, givers of wisdom, givers of knowledge, givers of truth. Very few see themselves as receivers. You will win their heart when they know you need them as much as they need you.  

Application 

Take time to cultivate all three of these types of community, for all three are equally important. A home community who backs you up 100% is crucial. Friends from a similar culture to yours living in your host country are a gift. True friends from your host culture are invaluable. Many “casualties” of cross-cultural ministry seem to have in common a lack of life-giving community. Pray for this community, and seek it out. Give yourselves to it. Fight for it. You will be glad you did, and you will last longer in ministry. Life giving community is one of the secrets to lasting the long haul with joy!

*Excerpts for this article are taken from a chapter of the book "Thriving in Cross Cultural Ministry" by Carrissa Alma.  You can purchase the book on Amazon.  I highly recommend it.