5 People who Help me Stay Pure

This is an article written  by Mark Dance.  You can find his material at lifeway.com

I believe most pastors love God and want to honor him with their minds and bodies. Some have given up by giving in.

Over 20% of male clergy accessed porn at least twice monthly (Texas Tech, 2009). Older studies say 35-50%. I don’t put a great deal of stock into what pastors tell pollsters because of our propensity to be overly optimistic (exaggerate). If I’m right, the numbers are worse than we read.

Because most men are fighting to stay pure, including pastors, I want to encourage you by sharing who has helped me the most.

Janet

My wife’s name is Janet. She is my number one advocate in the fight for purity. No only my love and commitment to her, but also her love and commitment to me. Our physical relationship is crucial to my being able to maintain purity. Scripture addresses this very directly:

But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman should have sexual relations with her own husband. A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another — except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:2-5 CSB)

If you are married and not experiencing consistent sex with your spouse, you and your marriage are unnecessarily vulnerable.

You

This may sound cheesy and even a little weird, but pastors are significant motivators for me. I believe God has called me to equip and encourage you and other church leaders like you. I’m not a celebrity, or even a particularly good writer or speaker, but I do have a national assignment that puts me in front of pastors and seminarians. If I were the devil, I would go after me because of how much he hates you.

Me

Only God and I know the true condition of my heart. I know who I am when no one else is looking. I have heard many fallen pastors say they never thought it would happen to them. I am going to assume that I’ll only be out of the woods after my funeral.

I suggest that you take some initiative this summer to control technology before it controls you. You can take a digital fast for a week or month to clear your head and your heart. Use this time to allow God to restore your soul, renew your mind, and rekindle your love for him.

Paul

Integrity issues often only get addressed after they are exposed.

Why not expose potential danger preemptively by sharing your struggle with someone who loves you and can help you win? Self-regulation is important (integrity), but it is much harder to lie to my accountability partner of 35 years, Paul Coleman, than to myself.

Paul and I just had our weekly accountability call a couple of hours ago. If the devil wants to take me down, he will have to go through Paul and Janet to do it.

Jesus

Everything I wrote up to this point can be chalked up to moralism or humanism without the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. The devil lost the battle for my soul on June 12, 1980—but he wants to taint my testimony and shortchange my ministry, so he keeps shooting arrows.

Jesus is our first and best defense against any attack of the enemy. Our spiritual maturity and moral integrity are intrinsically connected to our walk with him. Jesus reminded us that without him we can do nothing (John 15:5), and with him we can do anything (Philippians 4:13).

Making of a man/woman of God, part 2

Theme: Become a more loving person.   

Introduction:

When I think of the character of God, the first thing I think of is love. God is love. To become a man/woman of God, you have to progressively become a more loving person. You grow in love.   

A stumbling block to growing in love is a misunderstanding what love is. Many people think love is a feeling or that you fall in love. Some think love is enabling others to be involved in destructive behaviors, that you never correct or discipline another. The fact is these are unloving behaviors. If I love someone, I will speak the truth to them, even if it causes temporary pain. I look at like this: if I am a doctor and someone I love has cancer, then I will do everything in my power to tell them the truth and to remove the cancer. Sin is a spiritual cancer, the most loving thing you can do, is empower someone to cut the sin out. That will bring life to them.

What is love?

1. Love is a choice

“Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” Colossians‬ ‭3:14‬ ‬‬‬‬‬

God would not ask you to do something unless it was possible for you to do it. When God instructs you to put on love, he is saying chose to love. You do not fall into love, it is a choice of your will. That means there is no person beyond your power to love. No matter what he/she may have done to you, you can choose to love them.

2. Love is an action verb.

Love is not a feeling, it is an action, a behavior. I heard a man say that he and his wife no longer felt in love. The counselor said there was an easy solution. What? Love her. But we don’t feel in love. His reply was to love her.

Feelings follow actions. Marriage is a covenant, you don’t just treat your spouse well when you feel like but you choose to love her everyday. You can choose to be kind to someone. You can choose not to strike out in anger. You can choose to do the dishes. You can choose a multiple of things to express love to a person without feeling like doing it.

3. Love seeks the highest good of another. It is unconditional, giving, sacrificial love.

Love is not about what you get out of it but what you can put into it. It is not about getting your needs met but about meeting the needs of others. Love is a great opportunity to practice sowing and reaping. Sow seeds of love into a relationship and you will reap a harvest of love. Focus on meeting the needs of others and your needs will be met. The highest level of love is unconditional and sacrificial. I think of those who care for their spouses when an illness comes, that is love. Their spouse is incapable of giving back but that is not the issue. They entered into a covenant that said for better or for worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. So they choose to love!

Today Remember:

1. Love is a choice

2. Love is an action verb

3. Love seeks the highest good of another. It is unconditional, giving, sacrificial, love.

Today’s action step

 Do an act of kindness to your roommate(s) this week without expecting anything in return.

*Next time we will discuss how you can grow in love.

Set "Be" Goals

Most of our goals are geared for doing, accomplishing a desired task like “ I want to get my masters degree in leadership by May of 2020.” These are great and desirable goals that will enable you to accomplish great things. But do not forget about “be” goals. There are a little more vague and can be harder to set but in the long run they can help you reach your goals not by helping you accomplish a task but by becoming a great person. It one thing to accomplish great things it is another to be a great woman/man.

An example of this to set a goal of being a great parent, for me it would be “to be a great dad while I am serving overseas.” This is a great goal that is more important to me than completing my to do list. The challenge with “be” goals is how do I measure progress? This is where habit goals are vital. It is hard to define what a great dad is and how to measure progress but there are things I can do. One of my goals to being a great dad is to communicate regularly with my children while I am on the field. I can text daily and Skype weekly. I can look for articles, books, and other resources to send them on a monthly basis. We can plan to have a vacation together each summer. These are things I can measure that will assist me in determining if I am making progress in becoming a great dad.

 You can do this with anything that is important to you. If I want to “be” a man/woman of God. You can measure things like studying the fruits of the spirit, develop a plan to implement them into my life and then asking for feedback from those close to you if you are growing in the fruit. To be honest there are lots of things you can do to measure the “be” goal of becoming a woman/man of God.

You can set all kinds of “be” goals like being a better witness, being a great roommate, being an encourager to those around me. The question is what kind of person do you want to be?

So challenge of the week.

1. Set some “be” goals this week

2. Determine how you will measure progress

3. Seek feedback from those closest to you

One of my definitions of success is to progressively become the person God called me to be. My vision for you is that you determine the kind of person God wants you to “be” then set some goals, develop a plan, and become! Success is more about the journey than the destination.

Making of man/woman of God

A man/woman of God is a person who is at peace. They are not filled with fear, worry, or anxiety. There is something special about them, they are solid, don’t get overly excited, stable, and their presence gives reassurance. A person who lacks peace is antsy, nervous, has the jumps. It is God’s will that you know four types of peace. 

1. Peace with God

Your sins have been forgiven, you have been redeemed, and are a member of his family. There is no longer any conflict between you and God. This happened at the moment of your salvation. You became God’s son, he loves you and is pleased with you. You are at peace with God.

2. Peace of God 

Experiencing the peace of God means there is no worry or anxiety in your life. It is not based upon my circumstances but on my relationship with Jesus and the peace only he can give.

“And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts.” Colossians 3:15

“Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.: (Philippians 4:7 NLT)

These verses teach us there is a way to overcome worry, fear, and anxiety. God wants you to experience His peace. Not only are you in a right relationship with him but you are at peace with life, your past, present, and future. His peace rules your heart and guards your mind and emotions.

3. Peace with others 

There is no doubt that relationships can bring stress in your life but God has other plans. He wants you to have no broken relationships and when you do experience conflict, you are able to repent, forgive, and reconcile. If you have been offended you go and make it right, if you become aware you have offended someone else, you go and make it right. You have decided that you will not live with broken relationships and experience unspoken strife and division. You will do everything in your power to live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18.

4. Peace with self 

Being at peace with yourself is being content with who God made you to be and not trying to be someone else. Humility is not having a need to be or appear to be more than you are. You are content with who you are, your lot in life, what God has assigned you to do, and where God has placed you. You are a steward not an owner. A steward is responsible so you must do the best you can at what your hands find to do but you do not own it so it does not own you. You are owned by God who redeemed you by his blood. When only God owns you, you have the freedom to be the real you.

How do I receive peace?

1. Trust God with all your heart

Proverbs 3: 5-6 

Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. You do not have to have everything figured out or understand the why or what to what is happening. You have to trust him, place your hope in Jesus, not people or organizations. Acknowledge God as the supreme ruler of the universe and the authority over your life. Committing to submit to God’s leadership over you life brings peace ahead of time. You have already chosen. God will reduce your stress and anxiety because he will make your paths straight. You will know were you are going and the next step to get you there. 

  2. Spend time in his presence 

Jesus is the prince of peace, spend time with the one who is peace. When the disciples were in the storm, they looked for peace in the wrong place, peace was asleep in the back of the boat. When Jesus was awoken, the storm ceased. Jesus is your peace, so spend extravagant time with him. Allow the prince of peace to produce peace in your life.

3. Fill your mind with God’s promises 

Fear is focusing on the bad things you do not want to happen, faith is focusing on what God said he will do. When things go bad or wrong in your life, fill your mind with his promises. Read God’s word, study the Bible, speak it, memorize it, and mediate on it. Allow God’s truth to saturate you mind and heart.

4. Keep his way

Psalm 37:34 says wait on the Lord and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land, when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

In the middle of your crisis do not give into the temptation to rebel, take matters into your own hands, or to quit. But wait for Him. Jesus is on his way and when He arrives he will act on your behalf. While you are waiting, keep your integrity, live with character, keep his way. Because you do not have to promote yourself, Jesus will promote you. He promises that if you humble yourself in his presence that at the proper time, he will exalt you. You will see the wicked cut off, your enemies will be defeated by Jesus. So rest in Jesus, keep his way. I encourage you not to allow the circumstances of life or the actions of others to determine your response. Always take the high road, do what is right, and wait on the Lord. 

Four Benefits of Praying in the Spirit

1.You build up your spiritual muscles 

“One who speaks in a tongue edifies himself; but one who prophesies edifies the church.” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭14:4‬ ‭NASB‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

Praying in the Spirit has the same effect on your spiritual man as lifting weights has on your physical man. It makes you stronger. You are empowered t:o  

A. resist the deviL

Paul instructs us to stand firm in the power of His might. Praying in the Spirit enables you to accomplish this. If edifices you spiritually, giving you supernatural ability to stand against the devil’s schemes.

B. to live victoriously 

The Holy Spirit empowers you to be (Acts 1:8). As you pray in the Spirit, the Holy Spirit is producing and developing his character in you. You are becoming more loving, will experience peace with God and the peace of God, will be filled with joy, etc.

C. to minister effectively. 

The Holy Spirit empowers you to be his witnesses (Acts 1:8). You are unable to persuade persons to become a believer, it takes the work of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit convicts of sin, draws people to Christ, and accomplishes the work of salvation. These are things that you are unable to do on your own. You are dependent on the Holy Spirit. Praying in the Spirit flows out of a humility. You recognize your dependence on Him, so you spend time, allowing the Spirit to pray through you.

2. You strengthen your faith 

“But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit,”. ‭‭Jude‬ ‭1:20‬ ‭NASB‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

God has given each of us a measure of faith but did you know your faith can grow. One of the ways your faith can increase is by praying in the spirit. Not only does it edify you but it increases your faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God. Without faith you will receive answers to prayer. Without faith you will not fulfill the calling, God has places on your life. You need to increase your faith to live from glory to glory. Praying in the Spirit builds yourself up on your most holy faith. As you pray in the spirit the Holy Spirit will build your faith. You will live a more God pleasing life, you will receive answers to prayer, and you will realize those dreams God has deposited in your heart.   

3. You open yourself up to receiving supernatural revelation 

“that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him.” ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭1:17‬ ‭NASB‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬ 

“For to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, and to another the word of knowledge according to the same Spirit;” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭12:8‬ ‭NASB‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬ 

Praying in the spirit opens you up to receiving supernatural revelation. Notice in Ephesians 1:17, it says the spirit of wisdom and of revelation. In 1 Corinthians 12 it says the word of wisdom and the word of knowledge through the spirit. Praying in the spirit gives the Holy Spirit an opportunity to impart revelation, wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and discernment into your heart. Praying in the spirit is one of the most practical things you can do. The Holy Spirit can reveal to you:

A. the causes of problems and how to solve them.

As you pray in the spirit God will pull back the veil from your spiritual eyes and reveal to you the root causes of your problems. You will face issues that will beyond your intellect and your training. The root cause of your difficulties will be hidden from you and you will spend time dealing `

B. Dreams and visions

C. Understanding of how to effectively minister to another person

D. Discernment in which direction to go or in what decision to make

4. You partner with the Holy Spirit in effective intercession  

“In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” ‭Romans‬ ‭8:26-27‬ ‭NASB‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

The Holy Spirit knows exactly what our loved ones needs. I know many times as a parent my children face issues where I do not know what is best for them. I do not even know how to pray for them but the Holy Spirit does. There are times when I will simply pray Father I do not know what is best for my child. I do not even know how to pray for them but I ask that right now the Holy Spirit will begin to pray through me the your will for my child.

Or I may pray, Father I am facing a circumstance and I do not know how to solve it. I do not know which way I should go but I ask that your Holy Spirit will pray through me according to your will

Do you know the exciting thing about this? I John 5 promises us that if we ask anything according to the will of God, we can be confident that we will receive it. Praying in the Spirit enables you to partner with God in effective intercession. 

Overcoming Sexual Temptation

I read this article by Rick Warren on Pastors.com.  This website is a great resource.

We’re struggling! More people than ever before are falling prey to sexual temptation, especially through viewing pornography.

Unfortunately, many pastors admit (anonymously) to viewing pornography as well.

If this is a temptation for you, here are some steps to take . . .

Be honest when you’re fatigued and take a rest.

When you’re tired, you are vulnerable to a lot of things – discouragement, depression, and temptation. The Bible encourages us to work for six days and rest on the seventh. If you’re not taking a day off every week, you’re breaking the fourth commandment. Take a day off.

It’s particularly important to take some time off after a spiritual and emotional high. No doubt you’re familiar with the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 18, where he had a big God contest with the prophets on Mt. Carmel. Right after that, he’s in the desert saying, God, I want to die. Take my life. Fatigue is a hazard of being in the ministry, and it lowers our resistance to temptation.

Don’t believe your own hype.

In ministry, you’re put on a pedestal with lots of people admiring you. After one high-profile leader sinned sexually and stepped down temporarily from ministry, William Martin, in People magazine, said, “I’ve seen him change over the years. He seems to have been seduced by the power and the fame.”

That fallen pastor himself said, “I forgot that I was human. I thought I was more than human.” Never forget that you are human and just as susceptible to sexual temptation as anyone else.

First Corinthians 10:12 in The Living Bible says, “So be careful. If you are thinking, ‘Oh, I would never behave like that’ – let this be a warning to you. For you too may fall into sin.” The morning I start saying, I’ve conquered that problem, is the morning I’m openly vulnerable to temptation.

Keep a close watch on your spiritual temperature.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (NLT). When I am tempted, I remind myself of God’s omniscience and omnipresence. God sees everything in my life, and he is always with me. The Devil says, No one will ever know. If God is always with me, and he sees everything, that is my motivation to practice his presence in the midst of temptation.

Continually guard your mind.

Science reports that there is no difference between when you imagine something or if it actually happens – they both have the same effect on your mind. Neurologically, there’s absolutely no difference. The battle against sin always begins in your mind. If you lose the battle in your mind, then you’ve already lost the battle.

• James 1:14-15 – “Each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death” (NIV).

• 1 Peter 1:13 – “Prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit” (NASB).

• 2 Corinthians 10:5b – “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (NIV).

• Romans 13:14 – “Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.”

• Matthew 5:28 (Jesus speaking) – “Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Remind yourself regularly of the damaging consequences of moral failure.

When you are tempted, think like this: minimize the pleasure and maximize the consequences.

Hebrews 11:25 says there is pleasure in sin for a season. Of course sin is fun. Nobody would do it if it weren’t fun. You wouldn’t be tempted if there wasn’t some kind of pleasure in it.

The writer Randy Alcorn says:

Whenever I feel particularly vulnerable to sexual temptation, I find it helpful to review what effects my action could have:

• Grieving the Lord who redeemed me.

• Dragging his sacred name through the mud.

• One day having to look at Jesus the righteous judge in the face, and give an account of my actions.

• Following the footsteps of people whose immorality forfeited their ministries and caused me to shudder.

• Losing my wife’s respect and trust.

• Hurting my daughters.

• Destroying my example and credibility with my children.

• Causing shame to my family.

• Losing self-respect.

• Forming memories and flashbacks that could plague future intimacy with my wife.

• Wasting years of ministry training.

• Undermining the faithful example and hard work of other Christians in our community.

• On and on.

Take the necessary precautions to protect yourself.

In Matthew 26:41, Jesus says, “Watch and pray so that you will not enter into temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (BSB). It’s interesting that he doesn’t say, “Watch and pray so you will not fall into sin.” He says, Watch and pray that you don’t even fall into temptation.

Don’t even put yourself in a situation where you can be tempted.

First Peter 5:8 in The Living Bible says: “Be careful – watch out for attacks from Satan, your great enemy. He prowls around like a hungry, roaring lion, looking for some victim to tear apart.”

Let me be clear on this – most sexual temptation in the ministry will not be from something overtly sexual in nature. It will come from someone you genuinely care about, from someone you love.

We need to pray for each other and support each other. We need to remember that the moment we think we’re beyond sexual temptation, that’s when we’re most vulnerable.

Mindsets

A key to thriving in cross cultural living is to think well..  Research says that successful people think differently than others.  As a follower of Jesus I believe it is important to have Biblical mindsets.  

A. We need to have a Biblical worldview or to see our world through the lens of the Bible.  

B. We also need to have a  positive attitude.  

 

1.  How I think determines who I am

Proverbs 23:7

“For as he thinks within himself, so he is. 

2.  I am transformed by the renewing of my mind

Romans 12:2

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” 

3.  I can determine how I think

Colossians 3:2

“Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are upon the earth.”  

4.  Reject negative thoughts

2 Corinthians 10:5

“casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,”.

A. Do not villianize people, places, or things in my mind

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.”  Ephesians 6:12

5.  Fill my mind with the word of God

Psalm 1:1-3

“Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper.”

A. Hear God’s Word

B. Read God’s Word

C. Study God’s Word

D. Memorize God’s word

E. Speak God’s word

F. Meditate on God’s Word

G. Live God’s Word

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