Live Simply, Trust Wildly

Lesson: live simply and trust wildly

Book: thriving in cross cultural ministry by Carissa Alma

Observation 

1. Make every decision count. Don’t “just let” things happen! Pray about every purchase you make, every lifestyle decision you make, and every single major choice you are given. Think about it! Does it lead you closer to your goal of engaging in cross-cultural ministry?

2. They have become slaves to their lifestyle, feeling trapped and unable to do anything but to maintain the status quo.

3. Simplify your life for the sake of the gospel so that you can release funds for the Kingdom of God. Train yourself to be satisfied and content with little. This will also allow you to better identify with 90% of the entire rest of the world.

4. think it is impossible to hold any kind of discussion on supernatural provision and simplicity without mentioning radical giving and the ability to live unattached to money and materialism.

5. I see two very common streams of thought among Christians today when it comes to finances: the “prosperity gospel” and the “spirit of poverty.” The more common of the two, the prosperity gospel, teaches that: “God wants you to be happy. He wants to bless you with nice things and wants you to be comfortable.” In a nutshell, this ideology says that God wants us to be prosperous.

6. In addition to the prosperity gospel, there is another school of thought amongst many Christians today regarding wealth. I call it the spirit of poverty, and it may be something they ascribe to without even knowing it. Basically, although it is somewhat hard to define, it’s the idea that it’s somehow more spiritual to be poor than to be rich. It is a kind of reverse glorification of poverty (real or perceived) because of sacrifice unto the King.

7. The truth is that the bondage to money is the root of both the messages of prosperity and poverty.

8. In order to last the long haul with joy, let me encourage you to live simply, to trust radically, and to give extravagantly.

9. John Wesley said about money: “Make all you can. Save all you can. Give all you can,” and “When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.”

Main point 

Live simply, trust wildly

* I have combined my love for reading and my love for workers to write a blog. This week's lesson is from the book Thriving in Cross Cultural Ministry by Carissa Alma.  It is available on Amazon and IBooks.

Fixing your Focus

Philippians 4:8

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 

I have found that what I focus on determines my attitude and mindset.  If I focus on the positive, I am usually positive.  If I focus on the negative, my attitude can turn sour.  When adjusting to cultural stress, changes in ministry, or life's difficulties I have to determine what I focus on.  Focus is a central point, as of attraction, attention, or activity.  Here are five places to fix your focus.

1. Focus on Jesus not yourself

 Live the crucified life not the self life by putting Jesus on the throne of your heart.  He is your savior and your Lord, the supreme authority over your life.  Make him your first priority by spending extravagant time with him.  Die to your wants, desires, and dreams and live for Him and Him alone.  

2. Focus on what you have gained not on what you have lost.

We all make sacrifices in working overseas and you can make your sacrifice your focus or you can focus on all the blessings you have received. It is not about what you have to do, it all about what you get to do.  Set your eyes on what lies before you not on what is behind you.  Vision is always looks forward, don't spend the rest of your life looking in the review mirror.

3. Focus on what you can do not on what you can't.

There tends to be a lot of restrictions on what we can do where we live.  There are laws working against us, shortages of resources, people, etc.  We can focus on what we can't do and what we don't have or we can get up every morning and ask ourselves, what can I do today to glorify Jesus and expand  his kingdom?  The choice you make will determine your fruitfulness.  There will always be obstacles and reasons you can't, the people who make a difference discover what they can do and then they do it.

4. Focus on your responsibilities not on perks, privileges, and titles.

Never begrudge another person's blessing.  I have been given an assignment and that is to be what I focus on.  I do not concern myself with what a colleague may or may not be doing.  I am responsible for myself and I am to serve with the best of my abilities.  Jesus is the master and we are His servants. Servants have no rights or privileges. Servants serve.

5. Focus on giving not on receiving.

Always give more than you receive. Never focus on what you can get, always focus on what you can give. Find  a need and fill it.  Don't be self centered but other people centered.  Life shrinks when your eyes are on you and life expands when your eyes are on the world around you.

What are you focusing on today?

Cathy's Corner

Delight---such a beautiful and rich word.  But what does it really mean?  Do we in our daily lives really delight in anyone, anything, anywhere?  Over the past few weeks I've been praying and meditating over this verse.  

Psalm 37:4--Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 

It's a delightful thing as we come to the place where we hear Him call us to Himself and to follow His plans marked out before us.  But what happens when we set out on the journey and things don't always look the way we expected them to look and even we are not asked to do what I felt God called me to do.   Do we begin to question our leaders, the process, maybe even the LORD?  

In the beginning I stopped with verse 4; then one day I noticed the first word in the next verse is "commit".  

V.5--Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will act.  

When The Lord calls I must also trust His plan, His provision and His process.  He knows what must be put in me and what must be taken out of me to prepare me for what is in store for the days ahead.  When He called David to be king I wonder if he thought hiding in caves would be part of the preparation? Or if Esther could see she would one day be used to save her people, when it looked as though her purpose was to daily fulfill the desires of her earthly king?  

We must "commit" ourselves to Him and "trust" that He will act.

So fret not, my friend, at whatever task you find yourself attending to daily. Even if it seems you are serving an earthly king that serves no "kingdom" purpose; delight yourself in Him and He will give you the desires of your heart.   And remember that what you see today with your eyes, is not all that He is doing! 

So don't give up or grow weary in your well doing...HAVE FUN---life can be "delightful" if you're looking through His eyes! 

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Four Keys to Healthy Friendships

To cure loneliness we need to take the intiative and develop deep friendships.  What are the skills needed?  What if we have never seen deep friendships modeled or experienced one ourselves? Here are the four keys to healthy friendships.  

Key #1 Vulnerability 

 Vulnerabilth is the willingness to be hurt, to open yourself up to another person to the point your heart is defenseless.

Lack of vulnerability can happen for a number of reasons: 

A. Past trust violations, 

B. Relational hurts, 

C. Lack of exposure to authentic connections.”

This is important because without mutual vulnerability, one person becomes the counselor and the other the counselee.

Key #2 Time 

Best friendships require time to grow and produce the great relationships we need. There simply is no substitute for time. We need both quality and quantity.

The three stages of time in friendships are:

1. Caught up. 

You spend enough time with each other that you are caught up on the essential events of your lives: family, relationships, job, health, and so forth.

2. Connected. 

Whatever it takes to stay emotionally connected, that is your frequency minimum. Caught up and connected are not the same thing. One is about significant life events, and the other is about intimacy.

3. Caring

Truth is something BFs value and prize with each other. It is feedback and perspective that comes from a rich source of time and experience. It can be trusted. Honesty, however, takes time—probably more time than catching up and connection—and can be difficult to say and to hear

Key #3 Honesty 

1. Be truthful about yourself.

There are two kinds of honesty dynamics in best friendships. The first one is being truthful about yourself. It is when you tell the truth about yourself to your friend, warts and all.

2. Be truthful about the other person.

The second type of relational honesty is harder than the first: being truthful about the other person. It is harder because of the risk involved, but it is also extremely valuable. Close friendships require this type of honesty to help both of you be the best people you can be. Who else is going to tell you that you have spinach in your teeth? Or that the guy you are dating is a creep? Or that sometimes you come across self-absorbed?

Two people who genuinely care about each other can actually give and receive the truth, and still feel close and supportive of each other. It will take a little work, practice, and courage, but it is worth it.  Best friends are completely honest with each other and push each other to grow.  One of the most meaningful things you can do with a best friend is to see the potential in her and be part of helping her reach it. You may notice a blind spot that is hampering her life. Or you may see that she doesn’t see something awesome that she is capable of. Get in the mix and help her be a new person!

Key #4 Values

Values are simply representations of what is most important to us—the things that matter most. Those things of lesser importance might be opinions or preferences, but they aren’t values.. It is impossible for you to become "best friends" without shared values.  You can only go so deep, so far.  

What are the benefits of a healthy friendship?

1. “good to great,” business guru Jim Collins calls it Good to great refers to those capacities and potentials you have that aren’t yet realized. An ability, a dream, a passion, or a possibility that has stayed at the “OK” level, but could go to the “fantastic” level.

2.  “broken to good,” referring to the healing process. We not only have unrealized potentials, we also have baggage, issues, hurts, and wounds. These can be emotional or relational scars from the past, where harmful experiences changed how we looked at life.”

How do I increase the intimacy in my friendships?

“First, become the one who models honesty about yourself, so that you both know that the truth can come out without anyone getting hurt. Bring up your own realities. 

Secondly create a culture of acceptance

Having deeply accepting friends helps us beyond the fact of being accepted by others, and then by ourselves. When our deepest relationships know us and accept us anyway, we are now free to deal with our weaknesses as a problem, rather than a condemnation. We can stop the darkness when we aren’t ducking from the stings of the judge. When we aren’t accepted, we are more likely to simply avoid the judgment than dig into the issue.

Third, you are not a victim

Take responsibility for yourself and your relational world.

*I have taken my love for reading and for workers and created a blog.  I read books and write what I have learned concerning thriving in cross cultural living.  The book for this article is "How to be a best friend forever" by Dr John Townsend. It is available on Amazon and IBooks.

The Cure for Loneliness

As Cathy and I travel and visit cross cultural workers, we hear common themes. One of them is loneliness, especially at the beginning of careers.  It makes sense, you have left your relational connections and moved to a new country, meeting new people, and learning new language and culture.  You become isolated.  How do you cure loneliness when you go on the field?  By building new friendships.

What is friendship?

Friendship is hard to define but easy to describe: friends are people we go to with our deepest dreams, needs, and questions, and who are lifelines to us. Friends are people who bring us life.

Why don't people have friends?

1. Isolation

One is that many people are simply isolated in the first place and, though they want more close relationships, they’ve learned to live without them.

2. Lack of awareness

Others are simply not aware of their deeper need.

3. Lack of skills

Some people don’t possess the required skills and abilities to deepen a relationship.

How do I develop strong friendships?

1. Knowing. 

You have objective information and personal experience with the person. You know where they live, their marital and parental status, what they do for work, their hobbies, their faith. On a personal level, you may know their history, their likes and dislikes, and their dreams and hurts. Knowing provides the foundation of whether or not this relationship will be a friendship, and how deep it can go. 

2. Liking. 

You want to spend time with each other. You are drawn to each other’s presence. When life happens, for good or bad, you want them to know about it, and you want to know about their life.  Chemistry with another person cannot be forced but you will never become best friends with someone you do not enjoy spending time with.

3. Presence. 

Friends spend time together. That is how knowing and liking happen. It may be a phone call, a lunch, an evening, a bike ride, a vacation. But time together is essential. The more time together between two good people, the better the relationship. There is a mutual commitment to be with each other, and you gladly pay the price for its benefits.

Application

You can neglect the care and maintenance of the relationship either in quantity (not enough time) or quality (what you do with the time). You may not notice it immediately, but friendships will either improve or diminish, depending on how proactive you are. Take initiative, and you will reap the rewards.

Questions:

1. Who are you building a friendship with?

2. What can you do to take the friendship to the next level?

*I have taken my love for reading and my love for workers and created a blog.  I read books and write what I have learned concerning thriving in cross cultural living.  The book for this article is 

"How to be a best friend forever" by Dr John Townsend. It is available on Amazon and IBooks.

Three Relationships every Cross Cultural Worker needs

It is vital for you to connect with others.  You were made for community and isolation is  the enemy.  You need friends that you can pour out your heart, weaknesses, sins, dreams, and passions to. You need people to hold you accountable, enable you to adapt to a new culture, and pray with you when you are in need.  There are three relationships that every cross-cultural worker needs.

1. Relationship with your partners 

It is crucial that you have a strong relationship base in your home country. You need a community of people back home who are praying for you, with whom you are in regular contact, and who you know will back you up whenever you need it.  

Do not get discouraged if after a few months that you stop hearing from some of your supporters or even close friends.  I found myself struggling with the fact that they seemed to depend upon me to initiate contact when I felt that I was the one who left everything and everyone that was familiar to me.  But remember, these friends, churches, and communities have a lot going on in their own lives, and relationship is a two way street. It’s up to us to communicate well and to communicate often.  

2. Relationships with co-workers

Community at home is vital, but also ask God for life-giving community with those from your home culture where you live.  It is important to have people you can communicate with in your heart language.  You need accountability partners that you can speak truth to and will  speak truth into you.  God surely meets us in our seasons of loneliness, teaching us reliance but you were created for community.  Take personal responsinbilty to form these relationships.  You want to be praying for and open to any friendships God gives you, making time and room to strengthen such relationships whenever possible.

3. Relationships with nationals

Getting refreshed by westerners/ people from you own culture is awesome, but I am advocating balance. If you want to last a long time in cross-cultural ministry, you must cultivate rich and deep relationships with people from your host country.  There are some things you need that only a national can help you with.  

It is also important that people in your host country know you need them.  Many workers tend to see themselves as benefactors: givers of money, givers of wisdom, givers of knowledge, givers of truth. Very few see themselves as receivers. You will win their heart when they know you need them as much as they need you.  

Application 

Take time to cultivate all three of these types of community, for all three are equally important. A home community who backs you up 100% is crucial. Friends from a similar culture to yours living in your host country are a gift. True friends from your host culture are invaluable. Many “casualties” of cross-cultural ministry seem to have in common a lack of life-giving community. Pray for this community, and seek it out. Give yourselves to it. Fight for it. You will be glad you did, and you will last longer in ministry. Life giving community is one of the secrets to lasting the long haul with joy!

*Excerpts for this article are taken from a chapter of the book "Thriving in Cross Cultural Ministry" by Carrissa Alma.  You can purchase the book on Amazon.  I highly recommend it.