Parenting

Parenting is a stewardship

I had the unique experience of raising another man's children.  It has been the greatest honor of my life.  I think it gave me an unique perspective on parenting.  Parenting is a stewardship.  This means:

1. Your children belong to God.

I always understood that another man gave life to my kids. He was a good man who loved his family and God.  He was their father but I had the privilege of raising them.  We use phrases like "my children" or "our children".  But the truth is that they are God's children.  

Your children belong to God and it is your privilege to raise them.

2. You are to parent your children in an God-pleasing, God-honoring way.

My desire was that when I met the children's biological father in heaven that he would be pleased with the way I raised his kids.  That should be your goal as well.  One day when you face God, may He be pleased with the way you parented the children, He gave you.

3. You will give an account.

 I will meet their biological father one day and the truth is you will face God one day.  You will give an account.  There will be a day when God will hold you accountable for every word you say and everything you do with your kids.  That is a sobering thought.  It is not meant to frighten you but to motivate you.  

The good news is God is a God of grace and He will enable you to be the father He desires you to be.  He is not up in heaven counting demerits againts you.  He is for you not against you.  I have not been close to a perfect parent but fortunately I did not mess them up too much.  I believe the same for you.

advice on marriage from the Arab World

Four habits for a marriage in the Arab World

First of all you are the head of your home.  Be a spiritual leader.  Being a provider is more than providing food and shelter, it is providing what your family needs.  I see four needs for wife's and mom's here.

1. Abiding time. 

That is tough with with language school, team meetings, and children (especially new borns) but you need to help your wife carve out time to spend with Jesus.

2. Adult conversation with someone other than you.

Women are relationally based.  They need and crave conversation.  She needs to talk regularly and consistently with other women.  She needs relational outlets other than you.

You need that as well.  You cannot be everything to your wife.  It will deplete and frustrate you.

This can be on the phone, Skype, or in person meetings.  It can be a teammate, national friend, anyone.  Just make sure your wife's relational tank is on full.

3.  Make sure she gets out of the flat and gets some sunshine.

Our flats are like living in a box.  No one can stay inside all day and not experience discouragement and depression.  God made our bodies for the sun.  We need light. 

I know that can be difficult in this culture but I encourage you to figure it out. 

It can be done.

4.  Have fun.

My favorite Bible verse on marriage is: "Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil."  (Ecclesiastes 9:9 NLT)

Have fun.  Go on dates.  Spend time by yourselves.  Don't become too busy leading a ministry that you don't have fun with your wife.  Remember taking a children on a date is baby sitting someplace else.  Use team members to babysit.  We love it!  Ask. 

At the end of your life the people who will be with you is your family.  Don't make time for everyone and everything else at their expense.  A date with your  wife will make you a better leader.

What is most important to me?

I'm trying to maintain the discipline of writing but what do you write when you have nothing to write?  Feels like one of those days.  Maybe it is a time to remind myself of what is important.  What is most important to me?  My God, Cathy, children &grandchildren, making a difference, living a God-pleasing life, doing right things the right way, caring for people, being a friend, being a mentor, staying focused and disciplined, teaching the Bible, reaching a world, inputs, faithfulness & loyalty, being me, self off the throne & Christ on the throne, loving my family, staying connected, finishing strong, staying power.  This is what is important to me.

Self control

One of the characteristics of the fruit of the Spirit is self-control.  The King James version describes it as temperance.  It is the ability to control your appetites and passions.  Gentleness or meekness is the ability to control your emotions.  These terms of control means the Holy Spirit is in control of you empowering you to control your passions and emotions.  A Spirit-filled believer should be temperate, self-controlled, not harsh or out of control but in control of his passions and emotions.

Some of the ways I am seeking God to fulfill this in my life is in setting goals in the key areas of my life.  They are spiritual, relational, mental, physical, financial, and ministry.  I believe the key to life is a balance in these areas.  If you are not in "full-time" ministry then also add career to the list.  I have set goals in these six key areas of my life.  I am asking the Holy Spirit to enable me to meet these goals.  This is not self help or relying on my will power.  I am inadequate and weak.  I need the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to enable me.  I need the fruit of gentleness and self-control to be evident in me.  The fruit comes from abiding.  I abide in Him and He abides in me I will bear much fruit but apart from him I can do nothing.  I believe in the next two months to make strides in these areas.  I desire for the glory of God and to become the man of God He desires for me to be.

My desire

There is a desire within me to grow workers.  I believe for the day that there will hundreds of more workers in the area.  I believe for the day when workers are performing cutting edge ministry in healthy and effective ways.  I see the day when the area retreat is full of people with 10 years plus experience.  Hundreds of more workers with 10 years plus experience.  That would change the equation.  That would make a difference.  I will never learn language to be effective in certain areas but I can pour my life into those who can.  There is a desire within me to grow workers.

learning lessons

I am reading "A Larger Life" by A.B. Simpson.  It has been challenging and encouraging.  I want to live a larger life.  I want to have a larger faith, a larger love, a larger vision, a larger infilling.  It comes from God.  For me to live a larger life, I need more of Him.  I pray that there be less of me and more of Him.

Cathy and I did the final presentation of level 2 in our language class.  Cathy did really well.  I got nervous and began to talk too fast but did OK.  Language is difficult but the challenge has been stimulating.  I try to keep a good attitude and have the ability to laugh at myself.  Humility is a good thing.

August 31, 2013

I love Saturdays.  I sleep until I wake up.  I pray until I finished.  It is kind of a lazy day which you do whatever you want.  It is my Sabbath.  It is a day of rest, refreshing, and renewal.  God created the Sabbath.  After creating the earth for six days, God rested on the seventh.  God did not rest because He was tired or depleted in anyway.  God is God.  It is impossible for Him to be tired or depleted.  He was setting an example for man.  I am not God.  I am not indestructible.  I need rest.  I need a Sabbath.  So today I will do a little preparation for my presentation of Tuesday but I will rest.  I will relax.