advice on marriage from the Arab World

Four habits for a marriage in the Arab World

First of all you are the head of your home.  Be a spiritual leader.  Being a provider is more than providing food and shelter, it is providing what your family needs.  I see four needs for wife's and mom's here.

1. Abiding time. 

That is tough with with language school, team meetings, and children (especially new borns) but you need to help your wife carve out time to spend with Jesus.

2. Adult conversation with someone other than you.

Women are relationally based.  They need and crave conversation.  She needs to talk regularly and consistently with other women.  She needs relational outlets other than you.

You need that as well.  You cannot be everything to your wife.  It will deplete and frustrate you.

This can be on the phone, Skype, or in person meetings.  It can be a teammate, national friend, anyone.  Just make sure your wife's relational tank is on full.

3.  Make sure she gets out of the flat and gets some sunshine.

Our flats are like living in a box.  No one can stay inside all day and not experience discouragement and depression.  God made our bodies for the sun.  We need light. 

I know that can be difficult in this culture but I encourage you to figure it out. 

It can be done.

4.  Have fun.

My favorite Bible verse on marriage is: "Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil."  (Ecclesiastes 9:9 NLT)

Have fun.  Go on dates.  Spend time by yourselves.  Don't become too busy leading a ministry that you don't have fun with your wife.  Remember taking a children on a date is baby sitting someplace else.  Use team members to babysit.  We love it!  Ask. 

At the end of your life the people who will be with you is your family.  Don't make time for everyone and everything else at their expense.  A date with your  wife will make you a better leader.